Surgeon in Cahoots with Chiropractor Has Been Implanting Rice Krispie Treats in Patients During Operations
The Kraemer twins are being sued for malpractice by a former patient claiming that Surgeon Alan Kraemer, 57, secretly inserted several Rice Krispie Treats into the shoulder joints of over a dozen patients during corrective surgery, and then strongly recommended they seek treatment from his brother’s chiropractic clinic.
All of this was done in an effort to generate undue excitement around the chiropractic clinic, increasing its income drastically.
“The surgery went well, or so I thought,” stated the plaintiff during her testimony. She reported that she felt no discomfort immediately following the procedure performed by the elder Kraemer.
Following the malicious operation, Alan Kraemer then referred his victim to the care of his twin brother, chiropractor Tiddly Kraemer, 57, whose chiropractic clinic is next door to Alan’s surgery clinic. They share a wall.
Upon visiting Tiddly for chiropractic care, the plaintiff was shocked when, after a particularly powerful crack during realignment, they tasted the unmistakable and delicious flavor of baked marshmallow and cereal that have been lovingly combined in a dessert that kids crave.
“I’m not a doctor,” stated the plaintiff, “so I have no idea how I tasted it if it was just in my shoulder, but I’m just so glad it worked out that way. Otherwise, who knows how many more people would get swindled by these two.”
After reporting her suspicion to the police, an X-ray revealed the presence of a now-crunched lump of delicious Kellogg’s cereal, butter, and melted marshmallow fluff in the plaintiff’s shoulder.
When confronted by the police, the duo gave chase, resulting in a series of wacky hi-speed hijinks including a shopping cart, an antique suit of armor, and a hallway with several doors which all inexplicably lead to the same place.
As the two were finally apprehended, Tiddly could be heard screaming that he would have gotten away with it, if he hadn’t trusted his nimwit brother. Alan then poked Tiddly in the eyes, and the two were seen slapping, whacking, and bonking each other as they were hauled off to a maximum security prison, where they are set for execution early next month.
